


SOPHIA

by flickerofhope97



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, California, Clairo, College, Community College, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Female Protagonist, Female-Centric, Femslash, Fluff, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Medicine, Original Character(s), POV Female Character, POV Original Female Character, Romantic Fluff, Sapphic, med student
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-07-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:35:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickerofhope97/pseuds/flickerofhope97
Summary: "Amelia lost every chance of saving from the moment she saw those big brown eyes for the first time".Amelia Andrews is going to Med school for the first time. She has never believed in love. Santa Monica is gonna change her mind for good when a cheerful blonde with chocolate eyes asks for her help to cheat on a test.Based on Clairo's song, "Sofia". Short story.
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Amelia lost every chance of saving from the moment she saw those big brown eyes for the first time.  
The first thing she noticed about Sophia, though, was her laugh. She had this infectious little giggle that instantly filled the space as soon as it left her lips. That’s when Amelia knew that girl was gonna be trouble.  
Amelia was a short girl. She had a short temper, too. Especially in days like these, when she tried her best to learn any damn thing from her first Anatomy class, but the sound that came from the back of the classroom wouldn’t let her hear a single word her teacher was saying, despite being right in front of him.  
She couldn’t really tell who was disturbing her precious moment of drinking from the professor’s words, but whoever they were, it was pissing her off. She tucked her dark, thick hair into a bun and tried to regain focus on her lesson, even though the stupid girl in the back kept laughing over the silly jokes some boy kept making.  
By the third interruption, she just couldn’t take it.  
“For God’s sake, just shut the fuck up already!”  
…  
After talking to the University’s principal, Amelia found herself sitting on the counter of the closest bar around, angrily scrolling the pages of her poetry book, occasionally sipping on her _gin_ glass sitting by her left hand. She didn’t care it was half past noon. She didn’t care she had to be back at uni in another hour. There was plenty of time. Amelia didn’t care about a lot of things at the moment.  
She was too absorbed in mentally cursing everything. _Stupid boy making stupid jokes. Stupid girl who couldn't keep her mouth shut. Stupid principal who punished her. Stupid, screwed first cla-_  
\- Hey.  
And there they were. Those big, brown eyes, that soon would be her damnation.


	2. Chapter 2

\- Um, do I know you? - Amelia slowly lifted her eyes to meet convidative chocolate-y orbs staring right back at her. Sitting next to her was a blondie, with a crooked innocent smile, looking at her like she expected something from her.  
\- Well, _no_ \- the girl shrugged - but _I_ know you. You’re the girl who was sent to the principal’s office for yelling at Matt in an “inappropriate choice of words”.  
Amelia sipped her _gin tonica_ again. Matt. _So that was the name of the little bastard._  
\- Yeah. He couldn’t keep his damn mouth shut - she scoffed - It was really pissing me off.  
\- I can assure you he was more pissed than you after you yelled at him - the blonde laughed.  
Amelia’s eyes widened.  
\- _Wait a minute._ You - she looked at her, suspiciously - _You_ are the Giggly Girl. The person who kept laughing at whatever that imbecile said. God, you were ruining my first real Anatomy class!  
\- Yeah, sorry about that - the girl half smiled, looking genuinely sorry - I can be kinda loud sometimes. But I came in peace! Matt and I didn’t mean for you to get scolded.  
Amelia seemed to let down her guard. Her mom always said holding grudges wasn’t healthy, anyway. Besides, the alcohol was already making her feel a little tipsy, her judgement definitely compromised.  
\- Matt. Is he your boyfriend? - she asked bluntly. She was definitely not thinking straight.  
\- _Gosh_ , no! I only just met him - the mysterious girl giggled again. She was very giggly, indeed - I thought he was funny, that’s all. Listen, I’m really sorry about it. Can I, like, buy you a drink or something? I really want to make up for that.  
Amelia pondered for, like, half a second, before answering a straight “yeah, sure”. She didn’t mind, though. The girl seemed nice enough. And she was already drinking. A couple more sips wouldn’t hurt her. The blonde ordered two _vodka sodas._  
\- Whoa. Kinda early for that, isn’t it? Besides, don’t you know we have class in - she checked her wrist watch - forty five minutes, precisely?  
\- Oh, please - the girl answered, delighted by the way Amelia said “precisely” - You’re literally drinking tonica. You don’t look like someone who plans to attend class this afternoon.  
Amelia smiled.  
\- You’re right. I really don’t. It’s not like me, though. I used to be a real nerd back in high school.  
\- Yeaaah, I kinda know that - the girl replied, smiling mischievously - Matt says you’re the smartest girl on class. That’s why I’m here, actually - she turns her body on the counter, looking at Amelia straight in her hazel eyes - I need your help with something.  
She backed away carefully.  
\- I barely know you!  
\- Well, I’m 18, I live near Santa Monica, I’m bisexual and my favorite drink is a beer. Now you know me! - the blonde said all too fast - Please… I already know I’m gonna fail next week’s exam and I really need someone to help me cheat on it.  
\- Are you fucking kidding me? - Amelia gasped - No way! There’s no way I’m gonna cheat on a test for someone I’ve just met. ON MY FIRST. FREAKING. SEMESTER.  
\- We can get to know each other better! We’re not going to attend this afternoon’s class anyway. Besides, you haven’t even said I should’ve been studying instead of listening to Matt’s babbling. I already know you’re nice.  
Amelia ran a hand through her hair nervously. She couldn’t think straight. She was far too drunk to elaborate a good excuse to tell the girl besides “you’re a lunatic”. She could only think about how pretty the blonde looked, in a collegiate jacket and her wavy hair up in a ponytail.  
\- Please? - she insisted, with doe eyes and a pout. She licked her lips. A wrinkle under her right eye called attention for a little mole in her cheek. Amelia wanted to kiss that mole - I’ll do anything.  
Her eyes gleamed with relief when Amelia lifted an eyebrow and offered her a sideway smile.  
\- I’m listening - she took a long sip from her almost empty glass - I’m Amelia, by the way.  
The blond hid her face slyly behind her own glass, crossing her long legs.  
\- I’m Sophia.  
…  
Amelia kissed her hungrily, her back pressed against the mirror up on the sink, in the female restroom. Sophia was between her legs, holding the back of her thighs firmly while her tongue explored the depths of her mouth. Amelia held her face in both hands, as the taller girl carefully nibbed at her neck, leaving dark, purple stains along the way.  
Sophia placed her hands on Amelia’s hips, keeping her steady. She breathed heavily, kissing her neck, tracing her lips along her jaw, and finally, sucking every trace of alcohol left on her mouth. She sucked her bottom lip slowly. Deliciously. A small whine escaped the shorter girl’s lips as they moved against Sophia’s.  
\- Soph…  
Her slender fingers traced the skin on Amelia’s abdomen, underneath her shirt. She tried unbuttoning the first few buttons on her shirt, but they kept sliding from her sweaty hands. Amelia giggled, caressing her face and kissing it sweetly, leaving faint traces of saliva, finally getting to that adorable mole on her cheek.  
Sophia brought her lips back to her own, the sweetness of the makeout forgotten. Amelia circled her neck with her arms, bringing her closer, eliciting a moan from the taller girl. She undid Sophia’s ponytail, the golden locks cascading around her shoulder blades.  
There was, indeed, plenty of time left.


	3. Chapter 3

As both girl parted after the little makeout session, none of them ever discussed what happened in the female restroom. In fact, Sophia and Amelia wouldn’t discuss _anything_ for a while.  
Everyday, Amelia would take her usual spot on the first seat of the classroom, and discreetly glance at the back looking for Sophia’s brown orbs. She wouldn’t find them, though. Sophia obliviously doodled on the corner of her notebook every morning.  
The week went by fast, Amelia’s interest for Sophia growing slowly. While Amelia was completely immersed in her class, it took a lot from the teacher to make Sophia lift her eyes from the notebook. Although once something caught her attention, she could go on for hours, discussing it enthusiastically as if no one else was in the room. It was beautiful to watch. Amelia grew to admire her in many ways.  
She wasn’t so focused on her classes anymore.  
She didn’t mean for Sophia to think she was a psycho. But she found it harder everyday to keep herself from noticing the way the blonde nervously shook one foot under the table, or the huge mess she would make on her desk with all her coloring pens. Amelia wondered what was it that she drew absentmindedly on the corner of every page. She gave up, eventually. She knew it was for her best to focus on the course she worked so hard do get accepted into.  
Then, of course, everything changed.  
Nine days after the incident at the bar, Amelia got to class early, as she always used to, and took her usual seat in front of the chalkboard. She carefully drank the last sip of her over sweetened Starbucks caramel macchiato, which was still burning hot, and threw the cup in the nearest trash can.  
As usual, the class started precisely at seven ten. As usual, Sophia was precisely eight minutes late. She came through the doors in an oversized sweatshirt, breathless from running up the stairs, and Amelia didn’t notice when her eyes roamed through the classroom, choosing a seat for the first period.  
When she took the seat next to Amelia, the shortest girl frowned. _What the hell is she doing?_ Their eyes met, and Sophia curled her lips into a toothless, casual smile, and resumed doodling on her notebook.  
\- Will you meet me at the bar after class? - she said, still focused on her drawings.  
_What the actual hell?_  
Amelia found it incredibly difficult to focus on that one class that day.  
…  
She sat on the bar, wondering what Sophia could possibly want from her. Maybe she wanted to kiss her again? _No, of course not_. But why the hell had she sat next to her at class? _Her seat was probably taken_. But her seat is never taken. It’s _her_ seat.  
Whatever it was, she was about to find out. The bell rang when Sophia walked in the bar and merrily took a seat next to her by the counter.  
\- Hey! - she kissed Amelia’s cheek sweetly. Amelia, naturally, panicked. _What is happening?_ , she asked herself for the billionth time that day. _Isn’t kissing each other’s cheeks hello something only latins do?_ \- So, how are we gonna do it?  
\- How we’re gonna do what? - Amelia secretly hoped she wouldn’t notice the furious blush on her face.  
\- The test, silly! It’s Friday. Have you forgotten our deal? - Sophia winked.  
_Of course. The exam_. Amelia mentally kicked herself for thinking Sophia could ever want something else to do with her. _Stupid, stupid._  
\- I never said I was gonna help you - the brunette crossed her arms.  
\- But you didn’t said you were not gonna do it either - the taller girl teased - C’mon, I really need your help. I can’t fail this exam!  
Amelia sighed. That girl was really not gonna take no for an answer. She ordered two beers.  
\- Drinking in the middle of the day again, aren’t we? - Sophia grinned.  
\- Well, I suppose every devilish plan is supposed to be discussed over a drink, don’t you think?


	4. Chapter 4

Friday morning, Amelia waited for the exam to start. She poked nervously the dead skin on her lips, her heart racing like never before. She mentally debated whether she should take a relaxing pill, and cursed herself from taking too much coffee that morning.  
Sophia arrived at 7:18, her eyes filled with worry in a way Amelia had never seen her before, and took a seat next to her. She messily dropped all the contents from her pencil case on the desk, sipping on a _Venti_ Starbucks cup.  
\- Coffee? - she offered.  
Amelia never said no to fresh coffee.  
\- Gosh, this thing is crazy bitter! Don’t you put any sugar on it? - she almost spat the liquid back, but forced herself to swallow it.  
\- Just like my soul, honey. Unsweetened coffee is the best coffee - Sophia winked, taking her cup back.  
\- _Jeez_ \- Amelia pursed her lips.  
“Will everyone be quiet, please? First exam is about to begin. Everyone please take your seats”.  
\- Good luck - Amelia murmured quietly. _For both of us_ , she mentally added.  
…  
An hour later, the massive silence was broken by some coughing.  
\- Everything alright, miss Andrews? - the teacher asked from his desk.  
\- Yeah, sure - Amelia answered, pressing a hand to her chest - Don’t mind me, I’m ok.  
Sophia glanced at her, worried. The brunette kept coughing, clutching her chest.  
\- Mr. Rodríguez, I think there’s something wrong with her chest.  
The old man quickly stood up and walked to Amelia, pressing the back of his hand to her heart chastely.  
\- Dear God, your heart is racing like a bullet! - he gasped - Don’t you worry, young lady, we’re gonna take you to the infirmary. C’mon now. Are you done with your exam?  
\- Yeah, I guess - she answered tiredly, leaning on her teacher for support.  
Sophia took a last glance at her friend’s desk, then watched Mr. Rodríguez take her out of the class.  
…  
By the end of the day, students from all campus reunited in the front of the main building, waiting for their grades to be clipped to the big board that covered the entire wall. They crowded around it, searching for their names to check their scores on the exam, calculating if they were enough to be approved.  
Amelia took a while to find hers. She could swear every single student was taller than her. She felt like she was in an overcrowded concert, not able to see her favorite singer perform. Then she finally found it: _Amelia M. Andrews; A-_. A smug grin took control of her face. It could have been better, but it wasn’t bad for a first month.  
She searched for Sophia’s results, but soon gave up. She didn’t even know her last name. _Whatever_ , Amelia thought. She was probably never gonna see the girl again.  
Oh, how wrong was she.  
\- Amelia! - she heard someone call behind her.  
As soon as she got rid of the crowd, Amelia was met with a warm pair of arms hugging her tightly. She smelled a nice coconut smell coming from familiar blonde locks. It was cliché, of course, to say a girl’s hair smelled like fruit, but it was the closest she could guess from that scent: coconut and dove body wash. She also noticed for the first time how much taller Sophia was. Her chin rested on the top of Amelia’s head.  
\- You did it! Amy, I can’t believe you did it. A _B+_ , Amelia. B plus! - she squealed.  
\- Hey, lower voice, please - Amelia sushed her - You don’t want everyone finding out about what we did, do you?  
Sophia slowly released her, and grabbed her by the wrist.  
\- C’mon, everyone is going to the beach to celebrate it, you gotta come with us.  
Amelia stopped her midway.  
\- Wait, what? The sun is almost down, Soph. It’s setting soon.  
\- Exactly! We can watch the sunset in Santa Monica. Come on, I’ve already bought the beers.  
…  
Amelia sat beside Sophia on a blanket, watching everyone else play volleyball by the shore. She was surprised when the blonde didn’t leave her side. Instead they shared a Corona beer and watched the waves crash.  
\- I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve done, Amy.  
Amelia shrugged, growing more comfortable around the girl once the alcohol was already in her system.  
\- It’s only a test. Did you manage to copy all the answers?  
\- Most of them - she looked at her - I was too nervous to get them right and my glasses were missing.  
\- Didn’t know you were glasses - Amelia furrowed her eyebrows - Why were you so nervous, anyway? I’ve never seen you like that.  
Sophia took a long sip from the bottle. She faced away from Amelia, staring at the ocean. Her always-smiling face turned into a harsh expression.  
\- If I fail Med school, my parents are sending me away across country - she swallowed bitterly - I’ve lived here my entire life. I don’t think I could ever reestablish somewhere else.  
\- Wouldn’t it be good, though? - Amelia questioned - Beginning again. Fresh starts. New places to meet.  
\- I don’t know, Ames - she smiled goofily, still not facing her, and Amelia caught herself grinning, too, from her new nickname - I’ve never told anyone this before. But I feel like Santa Monica still has so much to offer, you know? I still believe this town will bring me a turning point. Something life changing. Something to mend my broken pieces for good.  
\- Well - in a spark of courage, Amelia pressed her hand into Sophia’s - whatever it is, I hope I can be by your side to see it happening.  
The blonde finally faced her, swinging their clasped hands slightly.  
\- I hope so too - the words left her lips softly in a mere whisper, accompanied by a small, shy smile - In fact, I hope you can be a part of it.  
_“I have a feeling we’ll get along really well”_.  
Amelia licked her own lips, feeling traces of beer everywhere: her lips, her mouth, her brain.  
\- Anyway! - Sophia released Amelia’s hand - Your performance was incredible. I almost felt sorry for Mr. Rodríguez. He was really scared, the poor guy. How did you even manage to fake a racing heartbeat?  
She laughed, crossing her legs over the blanket.  
\- It was pretty easy, actually. I didn’t have to fake it.  
\- What?  
\- I dunno - Amelia replied - Honestly, I don’t really understand why he was so freaked out. I was not even that nervous. It was just my usual heartbeat.  
\- Well, are you nervous now? - the blonde leaned toward Amelia. She slowly pressed her palm against the girl’s chest, just above her breast - Whoa. It’s racing.  
\- It’s a medical condition - Amelia let out a small breath - It has always been like this, and it’ll always be like this.  
\- Jesus - Sophia leaned closer - It’s like a hammer or something. How can the heart of such a small person beat so fast?  
\- Maybe that’s what happens to the broken people - she whispered. Their breaths mingles, they breathed the same air, her eyelids half closed - Their whole body might be dysfunctional.  
Sophia caressed her cheeks. Her long fingers felt cold, despite the undeniable heat on the beach.  
\- Maybe we could fix each other.  
As she closed the space between them, Amelia’s heart raced even more. A million fireworks exploded inside her, and the sun went down.


	5. Chapter 5

When they parted, Amelia was both static and breathless. There she was, in a Santa Monica dream, kissing a crazy beautiful girl on the beach at sunset. She couldn’t believe her life right now. She lifted her eyes to make sure it was real, and there was Sophia, looking at her lovingly, still holding her face between her hands.  
\- I’m sorry - Amelia blushed - I shouldn’t have done that, I’m far too drunk - she lied.  
\- Hey… it’s alright - Sophia smiled - I enjoyed it very much. And, well, you never told me what you wanted from our deal.  
She gulped.  
\- Did you only kiss me back because I helped you, then? - Amelia looked away, picking up some sand in her hands and letting it slip between her fingers back on the ground - or because you were drunk too?  
\- Amelia - the blonde offered her a tender expression, then pressed her lips against Amelia’s again, briefly - I kissed you back because I wanted to. Besides - she shook the remaining liquid in the bottle - you can’t possibly be drunk from one bottle of beer.  
She relaxed, surrendering to that warm feeling on her belly. It was like diving in a nice bubble bath, feeling the warmth engulf her body. Her skin tingled.  
She liked that feeling very much.  
…  
For the next weeks, Amelia began to feel comfortable around the taller girl’s presence. She was a coy girl, too embarrassed to make a move toward Sophia. Not because she was a girl (well, that too), but mainly because she didn’t understand how natural it could be for her to get closer, show affection and let someone get past her guards.  
Amelia never believed in love. Not because her parents had split up, not because her father had cheated carelessly, not because she’d seen her mother cry countless times over a broken heart. At least that’s what she told herself. No, that was not it. She had just never saw love work for anyone around her. Of course, her grandparents were still together, but she thought her grandpa never treated his wife the way she deserved.  
The way couples were portrayed on novels and romcoms also seemed fake to her. Was love really supposed to be a sugary, rainy fairytale, with a strong hero and an oblivious damsel? Did the romantic boys who would do sentimental gestures for their lovers actually exist? Amelia never met one. She was an avid reader, obsessed about dissecting every author’s vision of love, searching for something that could slightly match any of her own thoughts about the subject. She didn’t want her life to be Paramore’s “The Only Exception” brought to life either, but the lyrics kept popping into her mind every time she heard her mother’s bitter mumbling about her father. _My mother swore that she would never let herself forget._  
She didn’t trust men in general. How many times had she read headlines about another innocent girl who was raped by an older man? Of course she adored all the men in her family. But she didn’t trust any other man. She had some flings with stupid boys, but she never had any romantic intentions with anyone she ever made out with. No, Amelia didn’t believe in love.  
But once she realized Sophia actually cared about her, all her beliefs were questioned.  
...  
Sometimes, Sophia would seat on the chair beside Amelia at class. She wouldn’t say a word, letting her stay focused on her lessons (Sophia didn’t know Amelia would immediately lose focus the moment Sophia arrived). As she doodled in the corner of the notebook, Amelia would frantically try to take note of every single information that left her teacher’s lips. Their hands would occasionally brush against each other’s. A faint smile would appear on both their lips.  
As the days went by, Amelia learned how to let Sophia in.  
She would even become more irresponsible, slipping from some classes for makeout sessions at the bar, or even at school. More than once, she had let Sophia grab her by the waist and sneak into the empty lab, kissing her senseless against the wall just beside the transparent glass door. She would squeal in surprise, every time it happened, but she’d soon give in and melted against her embrace, the adrenaline rushing through her veins, and her heartbeat even faster.  
Sophia adored feeling her heart racing. She would proudly place her hand in her chest to feel the muscle pumping strongly. Today she showed a precious smile, running her hands through Amelia’s skin underneath her sweatshirt. Her tongue battled for dominance with Amelia’s. She moaned softly, delighted by the tenderness from the brunette. She was glad Amelia was letting her in. She wanted her to know she could trust her.  
\- We shouldn’t miss class, Soph - Amelia whispered, their lips still touching.  
\- Mhmm..? - she didn’t stop kissing her, not giving a damn about the freaking class - Why is that?  
\- We gotta _learn_ , Sophia. I’m not gonna cheat on any more tests - Amelia pushed her body back, her hands on the blonde’s chest.  
\- I would never ask you to do that again. I don’t want you to get in any trouble.  
\- I know that - she smiled - But I want to help you somehow, and that is getting you into class and, I don’t know, studying with you. Would you like that?  
\- Would you really do that? - Sophia’s lips matched her excitement. She was just so sweet - I don’t wanna be a burden.  
\- And I don’t want you to be sent to Florida because you failed an exam - Amelia sealed their lips and quickly separeted herself from the blonde to straight her messy clothes - You’re not a burden, I like to help. Really.  
\- What do you have against Florida, though? - Sophia whined at the loss of contact - You could visit and we could go to Disney world.  
\- We already have Disney in California - she pulled Sophia with her through the door - Now come on, let’s get you to class.  
Sophia simply rolled her eyes, letting Amelia lead her to reality behind the true fairytale she was living in.


	6. Chapter 6

\- Your heart rate can sync to the music you’re listening to - Mr. Rodríguez gesticulated a lot, walking around the class as Vivaldi’s Spring played loudly - Your blood vessels may adapt to the tempo and rhythm of the song, relaxing and constricting as you listen to crescendos and decrescendos.  
Mr. Rodríguez always began his classes with a fun anatomy fact to catch the students’ interest, even months after classes had begun. Amelia relaxed on her chair, closing her eyes and focusing on the beautiful song. It reminded her of when her father would play it on the car, when they used to take long road trips together.  
She pressed her fingers to her temples, feeling absolutely wrecked this morning. Her whole body felt heavy, as if she had caught the flu, or like a million pounds rested on her shoulders. Her head ached. Her feet hurt. Her belly felt like a baby dinosaur was dancing to samba music inside of it. When she woke up, the tired girl felt like ditching class and spending the whole day in bed watching Grey’s Anatomy. She wondered if she could actually become a doctor watching hospital shows. Stop being such a lazy ass, she thought. Then she ignored her aching body, and got ready for class.  
-Ah, Miss Evans - the teacher interrupted his rambling about the cardiovascular system. Boots clanked on the cold floor as someone approached - Caught in traffic again, I suppose. I wonder if I’ll ever walk into my classroom to see you sitting on your desk, right on time - he said lightheartedly.  
The group of students laughed timidly. Amelia opened her eyes and checked her watch. Eight minutes late, as usual.  
\- Sorry - Sophia took her seat quickly, pressing her lips to Amelia’s cheek and depositing a Starbucks cup on her desk - Morning babe. I got you coffee.  
Her whole face turned red, blushing furiously, waiting for some harsh reaction that never came. As if nothing happened, the class kept taking notes from Mr. Rodríguez, who had gone back to his monologue. Sophia was already sketching something on the corner of her notebook. Corona bottles.  
\- Thanks, Soph - her brain finally acknowledged Sophia’s sweet gesture - Ugh, I really needed coffee this morning. It’s like you read my mind.  
\- You are very welcome - Sophia smiled sweetly - Hey, why are we listening to classical music?  
\- Your heart rate can sync to the music you’re listening to - Amelia repeated with no further explanation - Aww, you put extra sugar in it. How did you remember caramel is my favorite?  
\- It’s very like you - she shrugged - Bitter at first, but really sweet if you stick to it.  
Amelia’s face curved in a large smile, no words needed. While her whole body ached, indisposed, her heart felt warm as fresh coffee.  
…  
\- Hey stranger!  
As Amelia and Sophia gathered their stuff and got ready to leave for lunch, a curly headed boy approached them, wearing a yellow and black plaid flannel and Ray-ban sunglasses. He was just a bit taller than Sophia, his white All Stars granting him a few extra inches.  
\- Sophi girl, you never sit with us anymore. What’s happened? I don’t know how much longer I can take Matt’s bullshit without you to punch him every now and then - he said fast in an hispanic accent. Then he seemed to notice Amelia - Oh, I see. Hitting on the nerd chick, smart move, Evans.  
Sophia smiled, taking Amelia’s hand, who chewed on her bottom lip anxiously.  
\- I’m not _hitting_ on her, Sam. Listen, if you’re so tired of Matt being a douche, why don’t you just move to another seat?  
\- Nah, I like the back. How else am I supposed to check the guys out? Not everyone is a natural flirt like you, babe.  
Amelia was surprised by her own reaction when a spark of anger grew inside her chest and she grasped Sophia’s fingers tighter. The blonde seemed to notice how she tensed up, caressing her hand with her thumb.  
\- Sam, this is Amelia. Her and I are…  
\- Oh, so she has a name! - he instantly took her in his arms in an intense hug - Amelia, the girl who finally managed to steal my dear friend’s heart.  
\- _Santiago…_ \- Sophia warned, shooting him an annoyed look.  
\- You must really be something else, _chiquita_ \- he ignored her - Sophia is not the romantic type of girl.  
She finally relaxed, amused by Santiago’s humor. She glanced at Sophia, who seemed content with how she loosened up.  
\- Well, she seems romantic enough to me - she laughed - She even brought me coffee this morning, can you believe it?  
\- Aww, my little girl turned into a Romeo! - Sam nudged at Sophia jokingly - We gotta celebrate it somehow! Come on, you guys are joining me for lunch. It’s alright, I don’t mind third wheeling.  
…  
\- We can study in the living room, we’ll have the entire house to ourselves - Sophia led her to her house, a huge white construction a few blocks away from the beach. It was not that far from the mexican restaurant where they had lunch with Santiago, but they had to take a long walk.  
_\- So, are you from Santa Monica? - Sam had asked her over a nice portion of nachos. Sophia had gone outside, trying to get better reception, while he and Amelia tried on the appetizers.  
_ _\- I was born here, yes, but I’ve lived my entire life in Miami - Amelia answered, dipping her nacho in some acid guacamole - My family moved back here when my grandpa got sick last year. Once he got better, it was too much trouble to go back to Florida.  
Santiago swinged his body, singing along to the Camila Cabello’s song that blasted through the sound system. He lit a cigarette and moved it to his lips, casually releasing the smoke and resting his back to the wall.  
\- What about your family? You still live with them?  
\- I rent an apartment around here. It’s closer to the uni. They live a few miles away, in a city close by - Amelia bit her taco - How ‘bout you?  
\- College dorm - he answered, pulling out the smoke again - My folks were thrilled when I got into med school. They packed my bags, drove me to college, checked my room. They even met my roomie - he scoffed - Guess they couldn’t wait to send me away, huh? They said: “go, mi hijo, go and become a good doctor to take care of your abuelita”.  
Amelia almost said she was sorry, but by his big smile, she could tell he didn’t hold any grudges. He was happy about being here. He moved along to the song, his mouth full of food.  
\- Great city, isn’t it? - he swallowed - Great food. Nice beaches. Hot people.  
She laughed, appreciating the boy's company. He was, for sure, a friend she wanted to keep around. Sophia returned, holding her phone and sitting next to Amelia.  
\- What have I missed?  
_ \- Welcome home! - she exclaimed as she unlocked the door - _Mi casa es su casa._  
Amelia ran her eyes through the modern furniture and the wooden floor. It was a huge house, grey walls and marble tables. She was breath taken, examining every portrait on the wall. A beautiful lady who looked just like Sophia smiled in one of them, except for the eyes: she had small green orbs with tiny wrinkles on the corner. She saw Sophia's eyes in the man next to her on the picture, though, a black haired guy, strong with a big smile, as if he was laughing over something funny.  
\- Sophia? Honey, is that you?  
High heels sounded softly on the wooden floor. The pretty woman in the picture appeared in the living room, in a white shirt and navy blue pants. She was the most elegant woman Amelia had ever seen, moving formally like a queen despite being in her own house.  
\- Hey, mom - Sophia said, hugging the woman - I thought you were at work.  
\- I was just leaving, darling - she released her, turning slowly to Amelia.  
\- Mom, this is Amelia, the girl I was telling you about - Sophia linked their arms together, and Amelia freaked out internally. She waited for her mother to call her a corrupter, a freak, and kick her out of her house, telling her to never look at her daughter again.  
None of that happened as the woman approached her and held her face between her hands.  
\- Amelia, dear! I'm so glad to finally meet you! Sophi here has told me so much about you. God, you are so pretty, look at this beautiful hair.  
Amelia was confused. Was she not angry? Wasn't she supposed to even find it weird that her daughter was holding hands with a girl? She swallowed hard, struggling to put out some words.  
\- It's a pleasure to meet you, mrs. Evans.  
\- Oh, please - she pressed her shoulder slightly - Call me Claire. Listen, I won't be home early tonight, but you should really come over for dinner someday. Sophi will let you know, ok? I really gotta get going.  
Claire swirled on her heels and took some car keys from the counter, heading toward the door.  
\- You two behave, alright? - she implied, to which Sophia replied with an embarrassed _"mom!"_ \- Bye, girls.


	7. Chapter 7

\- Okay, so alcohol inhibits antidiuretic hormone, which results in less water absorption, so that’s why we pee a lot when we’re drunk - Sophia recited from the bed, where she laid with a her notebook on her lap - Did I get that right?  
\- Yeah - Amelia spinned on the rotating chair, then curled herself into a ball, hugging her knees when she felt a shot of pain coming from her belly - Then, uh, we can get dehydrated by expelling too much water - she winced, struggling to get the words out.  
The blonde frowned and dropped her notes, placing them on the nightstand.  
\- You seem a little off. What’s wrong?  
\- I just have some cramps, that’s all - Amelia stood up from the chair, walking around Sophia’s bedroom, examining her baby pictures on her desk. The walls were covered with a grey wallpaper and a bunch of post its.   
Sophia watched her carefully, not buying the little excuse. Something was definitely off.   
\- You can’t fool me, Ames. Seriously, what happened? Did you not like going out with Sam today?  
\- It’s not that, I loved him, it’s just - she dropped her pose, running a hand through her hair, and shook her arms in despair - How do you do it? I mean, how do you manage to be so… carefree?   
\- What do you mean? - the taller girl sat up straight on the edge of the bed, a puzzled look on her face.  
\- I don’t know, I guess… I just felt like a criminal waiting for a sentence the whole day, you know? - Amelia walked in circles - Like… like I’ve done something wrong. I kept waiting for someone to tell us off, or say something mean. As if something bad was about to happen the whole time.  
\- Is this because people saw us together? - Sophia questioned, finally understanding what was happening - Did you… not want them to know about us?  
\- No! I mean, that’s not it - Amelia exclaimed - Of course people can see us together. I’m not ashamed of us, whatever we are.  
\- Then what is it, honey?  
She sighed, feeling her palms sweat.  
\- Honestly, I dunno - Amelia gulped, her voice beginning to crack up - It’s just, I thought people were gonna judge us. Treat us poorly because we were together. I mean, I don’t mind what strangers think about me, but I just got emotional - she smiled sadly - because I wanted your mother to like me so badly, and when she did, I was _so_ relieved… and I _really_ wish my mom would approve me too.  
\- Oh, Amelia… - She felt her eyes welling up, her bottom lip trembling. Sophia tilted her head in compassion, backing up on the bed until her back was leaned on the wall behind her - Come here.  
She opened her arms, and Amelia slided to sit on her lap, her back pressed to Sophia’s front. A hot tear escaped from the corner of her eye, a small sob shook her body. The taller girl enveloped her shoulders in a hug then, pressing her lips to the back of her head and resting her chin there.   
\- You have to take it easy, baby. You don’t need to worry about everything in life, things will work themselves up - she said softly, caressing her hair - And if they don’t, I’ll be by your side to face it. Everything doesn’t have to be so heavy. Life can be light, and free, and wonderful.   
\- It’s not always like that, Soph, you know it - Amelia refuted, her voice weaker - It’s not that easy.  
Sophia didn’t say anything, just kept stroking the brunette’s hair, letting her finish her point.  
\- I’m just _so_ scared - she confessed - That things will not be as easy as they were today, with Sam, your mom... My life was never like that, my mom would never take it as your mom did, and neither would most of people here. I’m afraid… someone might hurt you for being with me.  
\- Amelia, we’re safe. No one will hurt us, I can defend myself. I took karate lessons when I was a kid - she joked, gaining a small smile from Amelia. She felt her heart racing so fast she could hear it through Amelia’s sweats - But, seriously, things are just like that. It’s no use worrying about what people may think, there will always be intolerant people in our society, that’s ingrained prejudice.   
\- That’s bullshit, Sophia - Amelia shifted to face her - We can’t just accept it, we have to fight against it. It’s not fair, we are just the same, no matter who we love… we shouldn’t be judged for being different.   
\- I’m not saying we have to accept it - she wiped her tears and lifted her chin - I’m just saying that worrying won’t help anyone. We fight daily for being who we are, standing tall and facing whatever comes in our way. Proving them wrong. Showing that we’re proud of who we are and there’s nothing wrong about us.  
\- I guess you’re right - Amelia closed her eyes, melting into Sophia’s body and enjoying the warmth of her embrace. Autumn had brought a chilly breeze that came through Sophia’s large window - Sorry for being so dramatic. I don’t know what’s got into me today. I’ve been feeling awful since I woke up - she complained - My whole body aches.  
\- Don’t apologize, baby, it’s a valid concern - Sophia moved her hair, kissing the back of her neck - You’re not being dramatic. You should always speak up if something makes you uncomfortable.  
\- I know, I know - she sighed, trying to relax. She was quiet for a few moments, content in Sophia’s arms, her tears slowly drying up.  
\- Ames? - she broke the silence.  
\- Mhm?  
\- Are you on PMS?   
Amelia shifted a little, burying her face in her neck, realizing what was making her so uncomfortable all day long.  
\- … yes.  
The blonde curved her lips. She wished she could take all the girl’s pain to herself, she told Amelia, cradling her in her arms like a baby.   
Of course Sophia knew a girl’s period was really stereotyped. It didn’t actually drive women crazy the way men thought, neither could it be charged for all their behaviours in that phase. But she couldn’t deny period could make her feel pretty shitty, giving her PMS, making her feel needy, providing cramps, and bad moods and crazy sex drives. She lifted her sweatshirt and placed her warm hands to Amelia’s stomach, massaging them slightly.  
- _I think we could do if we tried, if only to say you’re mine_ \- Amelia opened her eyes to face her when she heard the first words to Clairo’s song - _Amelia, know that you and I shouldn’t feel like a crime…_  
She smiled when Sophia replaced her name in the song with her own.   
\- What are you doing? - she whispered.  
\- Your heart rate can sync to the music you’re listening to - Sophia answered, simply, repeating the words from earlier that morning - _Baby you don’t got to fight, I’ll be here til the end of time, wishing that you were mine, pull you in, it’s alright._  
She just laid there, lifting her hand to stroke Sophia’s face, delighted by her voice. She admired her pretty heart-shaped face, her deep chocolate orbs, and the adorable little mole on her cheek she just loved running her fingers over. As her eyes grew heavier, she allowed Sophia to lull her to sleep, all worried and pain drifting away. They could wait til next morning.  
\- Take life easier, Amelia - Sophia moved to press a slow kiss to her forehead - _You know I’d do anything you ask me to…_  
Amelia knew how that verse ended. That was her last thought before she drifted into a dreamless sleep.  
_But, oh my god, I think I’m in love with you..._


	8. Chapter 8

A strong ray of sunshine warmed her face and poked her eyelids, inviting them to meet the morning light. She opened her eyes slowly, and snuggled closer to the body she was spooning. Somehow during the night she ended up with her arms around Sophia’s waist, who slept softly in a tank top and plaid sweatpants, their limbs tangled together with the sheets.   
She admired the sleeping girl beside her. Sophia had this angelic face she could never get enough of, even with her hair all sprailed up over the pillows like a halo and her lips parted. The sun gleamed over her face through the curtains, her clothes were messy, her body curled into fetal position, barely moving. She seemed relaxed, though.  
Amelia kissed her nape, caressing her arms under the covers.  
\- Hey, babe - she pressed their bodies even closer - Wanna go for a coffee run?  
Sophia didn’t even stir. She was a damn heavy sleeper; once she was asleep, a freaking meteor could fall on her backyard and she wouldn’t even notice. Amelia pressed light kisses in her shoulder blades, then her neck and her collarbone.  
\- Hmhmm, Amy - she muttered, slightly annoyed for being disturbed from her princess slumber - What time is it?  
\- It’s almost ten already, darling. Rise and shine, let’s go eat something, it’s already late.  
\- Ames. It’s _saturday_ \- she groaned - There’s no “late” until it’s past lunchtime - Sophia turned over and hid her face in Amelia’s chest, pointing out there was no way she was getting up.  
Amelia stroked her hair, surrendering to the comfort. Sophia was always in a bad mood in the morning until she got a big cup of coffee. She hated when people woke her up, no matter how late it was. Eventually, her eyes fluttered open, her cheeks all marked up from pressing her face to Amelia’s sweatshirt. Now much more rested, she hummed contently.  
\- Morning, sleeping beauty - Amelia smiled - Are you less grumpy now?  
Sophia poked her on her hips.  
\- I’m only getting up because you promised me coffee. Although I really don’t feel like putting up a shirt right now.  
\- Come on, you big baby - she pulled on her arm, getting up from the bed - Let’s get you some caffeine.  
…  
\- So, when you said you didn’t feel like putting a shirt on … - Amelia finished her coffee and threw the cup away, leaning back on Sophia’s arm - you actually meant a bra.  
Sophia took a long puff from her cigarette. A nasty habit she couldn’t get rid of. Not like she had ever tried, anyway. They said kissing a smoker was like licking an ashtray, but Amelia said she didn’t mind it: her parents were never around to smell traces of smoke on her clothes, so she could smoke around her if she wanted to. She didn’t approve it, though. As a med student, she should know better than smoking to get rid of anxiety. But she knew it wasn’t that easy.  
Sophia shrugged.  
\- Bras are overrated - she simply said.   
Sophia decided to leave the house in jeans and a plain white cropped shirt. She thought, however, that wearing a bra wasn’t necessary. The shape of her nipples was discreetly visible over her shirt. She was in a much better mood from the moment she swallowed the first sip of the strong, black coffee Amelia ordered her. They swinged on a hammock at a local café near the beach. It had an open area, sorta like a garden, with cushion puffs and wooden benches.   
\- Sure, but, ya know, I’m afraid I’ll be harassed if I don’t wear one - Amelia hated how natural it was to be scared of being molested because of what she was wearing. Harassment shouldn’t be a common thing, she thought. She shouldn’t have to cover herself in order of being respected. Respect wasn’t supposed to be selective.   
\- Guys are gonna be jerks no matter what you wear, Ames. It’s like I told you yesterday - Sophia took another drag of her cigarette - We’re not the ones who should hide. They should learn how to be decent human beings, not us.   
“And if we hide, if we decide to wear pants when we actually want to put on a short skirt, they win. We tell them that it’s okay for them to use our bodies if what we wear is revealing. We say the clothes are the issue, not their sick minds. We accept that as rule, instead of fixing the real problem. It becomes natural for us to feel like we have to be shrouded”.   
\- Besides - she whispered - My boobs are so small no one would notice if I didn’t wear a bra.   
Amelia slapped her playfully.  
\- They are not!   
\- Well, have you ever seen them? - she smirked. Amelia blushed - You can say they’re small, babe. I don’t mind.  
\- You just messed with all the credibility of your argument - Amelia shook her head - And it doesn’t matter if they’re small to me - she caressed her sides, her pinky slightly brushing said breasts - I like you the way you are.  
Then she thought for a while, and burst into laughter.  
\- Are we actually having a conversation about your breasts in the middle of a cafe?  
\- Maybe that’s what girlfriends do, honey - Sophia replied, folding her legs over the hammock - Let’s say we’re only discussing topics for Anatomy 101.  
Amelia looked at her tenderly, her face gleaming with an uncontrollable grin.  
\- That’s what we are, Soph? - she pulled on their intertwined fingers, lying down on the hammock, making Sophia lean toward her - Girlfriends?  
\- Well, if you want us to - Sophia kissed the tip of her nose.   
Amelia captured her lips in a passionate kiss, tugging at her hair, which was tied in a messy bun.   
\- I do.  
Sophia placed her hands on her neck, kissing her back, as Amy released the blonde curls from the hair tie.  
\- _I just wanna say how I love you with your hair down._


	9. Chapter 9

Amelia didn’t expect herself to fall in love.  
When she was a kid, she cut that off from her bucket list. Back then, her dreams included graduating and becoming a successful writer, going to Disney World and having a dog. There was a time when she also wished her parents would get back together.   
And then she grew up.  
Seeing her mother cry in her bedroom countless times, to believe love could ever work nowadays was a mere illusion to Amelia. Mrs. Andrews was deeply heartbroken for months, and Amelia didn’t know if she ever recovered completely. As Amelia realized how long it took for her to feel fine again, she decided she would stay away from love. It was simple logic: if you don’t go after the bear, you won’t find the bear, and the bear won’t eat you.  
There was only one problem with her reasoning: a bear can appear on your way even if you’re not looking for it.  
Her father was more optimistic, of course: he was content with his new wife and her daughter. He thought love had finally been nice to him, although he always said that, no matter how miserable his marriage with Amelia’s mom was, he was grateful for it, because it had brought Amelia to his life. He believed love could work out for someone, even if it took a lot of time. Amelia enjoyed spending time with his new family, but she always felt like she was also betraying her mother, for being happy with them.   
She wondered if love could ever come without pain.  
Her mother, on the other hand, was a tough person. Once her grief phase ended, she went back to being a sergeant. She was determined to be strong for her daughter, and never allowed herself be emotional around her again. She was disillusioned. She didn’t trust anyone, and encouraged her daughter to do the same. Whenever Amelia implied one of her friends was reliable, she acted like Hades from the Hercules animation, bossing everything around like she always did. It was like she wanted to control every aspect of her life, including her own heart. Amelia’s father said she was much like her mother.   
Amelia would sing to the Paramore song whenever she felt a spark of belief in her heart.   
At some point, she started acting like her mother. She was skeptical, mocking at whatever attempt of love life would throw on her. She casually made out with boys, never expecting anything from them, unlike all her friends, who would madly fall in love with any cute guy they found in high school. Whenever someone would show interest in having something more, she would ditch them. _That was the day that I promised I’d never sing of love if it does not exist._  
She was okay with being single. It was better than being broken.   
Everything changed when Sophia came on her away.  
At first, she tried to suppress any fluttering in her chest whenever Sophia looked at her. She would sink her sharp nails in the palm of her hands, hoping that the pain would remind herself of reality (she thought love was like a drug; therefore, if she could remind herself it was just a hallucination, it could prevent her from doing anything stupid).  
As weeks went by, she just stopped trying.   
Her heart was always racing. The doctors never found an explanation for her atypical pace, so they didn’t even knew if it was safe to give her any medication. It proved to be benign, even though it could cause her some discomfort from time to time. When Sophia kissed her, she felt like it was gonna explode. Her heartbeat was faster than a racing car, and she actually thought love was gonna be the death of her.  
The next time her father called to check in on her, he made his usual jokes about not wanting to see his little girl messing around with some trash boy, and she involuntarily replied “good thing I’m messing around with a girl”. The moment the words left her lips, she thought about turning off her phone forever, but her father simply said “oh. Do I get to meet her soon?”. And she knew he didn’t give a damn about his daughter dating a woman. Later he said he actually didn’t care, he would love her no matter what. Life was too good to be true. It was more than she could ever dream of. When he asked her if he liked her, she sighed deeply and confessed:  
_“I think I’m in love with her”_.  
As she dropped her act, she knew there was no going back. She was head over heels with this girl, in deep like she never thought she would be. And, God, it felt good. Amelia hated how good it felt, because she knew she was getting herself into some big trouble. She didn’t want to be in love. But her heart had taken control of the locomotive of actions, her brain tossed somewhere in the conductor’s compartment.   
That’s why Amelia wanted to be a doctor, she pondered. She was fascinated by the idea of fixing any discomfort with a bunch of chemistry mixed up in a medication bag, a magical cure simply inserted in someone’s veins. That’s how she thought a hospital worked as a kid. But a part of her always hoped she could actually fix everything in her life going to med school.  
Sophia was like a dream come true. She looked like a princess, despite her tomboyish behaviour. But Amelia didn’t fall in love with her for her face, for the curve of her hips, the contour of her curvy legs or her bow shaped lips. It was much more than that.  
It was something about the spark in Sophia’s eyes whenever something really weird caught her attention, and she suddenly forgot about everything else. Amelia loved hear her rambling over something she was really interested in, like a potential cure for a disease involving a never used method. She was a lazy ass girl, but whenever she really liked something, she became obsessed, thirsty for knowledge, learning everything she could find about it in a matter of hours.  
It was in the unamused expression she couldn’t help showing whenever Amelia really pissed her off, when she grew bored in the middle of a movie or when she was far too agitated to actually pay attention to class. She tapped her fingers constantly, Amelia noticed, sometimes biting her nails, another one of her habits Amelia did her best to drive her out of. She found everything about her cute, though.   
It was in the way Sophia was always grumpy when she lacked sleep, and there was nothing that could make her feel better, except for a nice cup of fresh, strong coffee, with one teaspoon of sugar at best. She preferred it with no sugar at all. She also had the appetite of a dragon in the morning, and Amelia had no idea where all that food went, because she was never one pound heavier.  
Amelia was in love with every single one of her details. Sophia swept her off her feet - literally. She didn’t think it was possible for her to fall in love harder than she already had, but she did, every single day. She fell harder everytime Sophia kissed her forehead without even making an effort, for she was just the right amount taller for her lips to reach the top of her head. She fell harder whenever she pressed her slim hand to her chest to feel the stupidly crazy fast heartbeat race, and always repeated “how can the heart of such a small person beat so fast like this?”. She fell harder every day when she lifted her chocolate-y eyes to meet her own, her nose scrunching, her laugh sounding like the most angelic sound she had ever heard.  
_“You’re my true guardian angel”_ , she told her once.  
She found it funny, she pondered one day, how people who were casually camping in the woods seemed to find a ridiculously bigger amount of bears than the hunters, who were actually trying to find them, did in a matter of a year.  
And although she promised she’d never surrender to the the conclusion Paramore came to in that old ballad, she found herself humming the words against her own will:  
_Darling, you are the only exception_.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: eating disorder and abusive relationship. Caution is advised.

Sophia was the most spoiled girlfriend ever, she thought.  
Ever since Amelia grew comfort with PDA, she became ever so loving, showering Sophia with affection and tenderness, paying for her coffee (which she always knew how to order), buying her stupidly fancy pens for her sketches, taking her to dinner and doing everything she could to make her happy. Sophia felt herself growing more and more used to receiving all this love and being cared for. She eventually settled for it, allowing herself to feel loved for once, since she had never stayed with someone for more than a week. So she let Amelia love her with all her heart, reciprocating it as she could. She’d draw Amelia little pictures on her notebook: a cute piggy, a sketch of Amelia as a renowned doctor, the details of her small eyes, weird little alien guys standing on imaginary planets. Anything that came to her mind. Amelia really liked her drawings, so sometimes she’d give them to her.   
Eventually she felt Amelia didn’t really know how to receive love instead of giving it. So she wouldn’t let her be the gentleman all the time. She was the one who offered to pay for everything, peppering her with useless stuff she’d find at the market: candy, neon highlighters, small plants she knew Amelia would accidentally kill. She wanted to spoil her too. Sophia abused of her own financial condition, offering Amelia all sorts of things both girls knew she didn’t need.  
She’d also give her her coat when the cold wind tickled their skins, despite Amelia’s compulsion for stealing them whenever they slept at the same house. Sophia didn’t mind it, though: her hands were always freezing, Amelia said, but she never felt cold. Amelia looked cute in her oversized sweats. Sophia would pull her by her waist, slipping her cold ass fingers underneath the fabric to stroke her skin. Amelia would squeak, trying to get away from her icy hands, but she’d hold her close.  
Amelia was the ultimate perfect girlfriend, Sophia would always say. She cared for her like no one else had, always worried about her well being. Sophia had the dreadful tendence of going without eating for an entire day, even though she’d eat like a bear when she actually felt like having some food. Amelia was furious when she did that. _“You cannot not eat for a whole freaking day!”_ , she’d say. _“You’ll get sick, for God’s sake”_. Then she proceeded to buy her tons of her favorite snack, cheese pizza and apple juice, and shove it on her face, no matter how much Sophia protested. Then she’d oblige, knowing Amelia was just worried.   
Eventually Amelia found out about her eating disorder.   
Sophia had invited her over to spend the afternoon after class. They usually had lunch together around the campus, but that day Sophia said she had to study during lunch break, so she suggested they had dinner at her house instead, since her mother would be home. She said she’d brought a sandwich for lunch and she’d eat it while reading an article for a paper. Amelia agreed, and proceeded to go for lunch with Sam at their usual Mexican restaurant, as they did every Friday.   
Amelia didn’t know she never planned to eat that sandwich, neither had she actually brought it.  
She picked a nice outfit for dinner, excitedly putting on a jeans jacket and a pretty wine-colored scarf. She had chosen some high heeled boots, so she wouldn’t look like one of Snow White’s dwarves around Sophia and Claire, who were both tall women. Putting on some music, she drove contentedly to Sophia’s house, rolling her eyes at the memory that came to her mind every time she sat foot on her car: _“You’re so short, baby, how can you drive?”_ , Sophia would mock her. _“Can you even reach the pedals?”_.  
Amelia found it weird when no one answered the door. She waited a few moments, frowning. The lights were on, and a weird smell came from the open windows. Something was burning. She walked through the unlocked door, calling out Sophia’s name. The kitchen was covered in smoke. Amelia made her way through it, finding the source of the fume and turning off the stove. _“Claire?”_ , she called out, _“I think your lasagna is burnt”_. She rushed upstairs when she heard Mrs. Evans voice, realizing something was definitely wrong.  
The short brunette gasped when she found Sophia passed out on her mother’s lap, who sounded awfully calm talking to someone on the phone. _“Yeah, I just found her unconscious on her bed. Would you please send an ambulance to this address?”._  
The doctor, who apparently was an old friend to the family, was not surprised to see them at the hospital. He soothed Claire, who was sweating even though she didn’t seem startled either, as they waited for Sophia to come back from her exams. After she was brought back from an endoscopy, the doc concluded her diagnosis: ulcer.   
Sophia had passed out from lack of eating. Her stomach was severely damaged from skipping meals and an exaggerated production of gastric acid. Amelia knew what could cause an ulcer: excessive worrying, greasy meals, too much coffee or alcohol. She mentally slapped herself for all the black coffee she had been buying Sophia lately. How could she not notice something was wrong?  
When Sophia woke up, her mother held her hand, stroking her hair. _“This can’t keep going, honey”_ , she had said, _“I have no choice but calling your therapist. You’ll have to see her again”._  
 _“It’s alright, mother”_ , Sophia replied, _“If that makes you feel better”_ , she said hopelessly. Claire told her it was not about herself: she wanted her daughter healthy. She still seemed calm as hell, and that was beginning to freak Amelia out. Noticing her growing agitation, the always so elegant woman left the young girls alone and went discussing meds with the doctor.  
 _“Hey, silly”_ , she called Amelia, _“aren’t you coming to give me a kiss? Snow White’s supposed to wake up from a true love’s kiss”._  
Amelia threw herself beside her on the hospital bed, sinking her face in Sophia’s neck, her hot tears flowing against the equally hot skin. _“How could I not know? I’m so stupid, Soph, I gave you coffee all week!”._  
 _“You just wanted to spoil me, honey. It’s alright, I fooled you well”_ , Sophia soothed her. Amelia sat up angrily. _“You can’t do that, Sophia! Fuck, I thought I lost you! What is going on, Soph?”_ , she cried out, _“Why won’t you eat?”._  
Sophia sighed deeply, tiredly. _“I think it’s time you knew, anyway”_.  
 _“He was quite the prince charming, Ames. All strong and flattering and polite. Mom loved him. He was the son my father never had. The classic ‘girls wanna date him, guys wanna be him’. I couldn’t believe my life when he first talked to me. All these pretty girls at high school and he’d chosen me. Plain old me”_. Amelia wanted to tell her there was no such thing as plain in her, but she let Sophia carry her story.  
 _“When he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was over the moon. He gave me a promise ring at school, and everyone was watching. I thought it was so cheesy, who even wore promise rings in this century? But my friends were all in awe, wishing they had a charming boyfriend like I did. He’d always buy me flowers and jewelry and stuff. Never chocolate, though. He said he didn’t want me to gain weight”._  
A single tear escaped from her big eyes, but she kept strong, her voice sharp and steady.  
 _“At first I thought he was just messing with me. Then he started to make all this jokes, fussing around when I wouldn’t wear tight clothes, asking me if I didn’t wanna put them on because I was chubby. I had never thought about the way my body looked until then. God, I was only 15”_ , she gulped, and kept going, Amelia stroking her hair, they shared the bed laying side by side, _“I didn’t tell anyone then, I thought that was the way relationships were supposed to be. Damn, Amy, I was so naive. At some point he wanted me to cover my body, wear baggy clothes and everything. He’d say he didn’t want anyone to see my body. The body of his girlfriend”._  
 _“When my hormones kicked up, I actually gained some weight. I was so upset my hips were a bit larger, my thighs were thicker and my breasts were just a little bigger. For me, I looked hideous. I cried every night, and my mom said I was still slim, but I wanted to get thinner. I would make a bunch of stupid diets. There were days when all I ate was a bowl of carrots”._  
 _“Phillip was more distant every day. I felt like he was tired of being with me. He acted like he was so fucking done. I told him that, and he just said I was being overdramatic. ‘You’re too insecure, Sophia. No one likes an insecure a girl’”._  
She cracked up, her face turning into an awful mess, red as a tomato, her nose running and her voice failing. Amelia pulled her impossibly closer, Sophia’s face hiding in her chest, her voice muffled.  
 _“Then he broke up with me, and one week later he was going out with some dumb girl with a Victoria’s Secret body, size 4. I felt so ashamed of myself. I thought he only left me because of my body. Thought he was embarrassed to be with me. That’s when I first stopped eating”._  
Sophia gulped, the story consuming a lot of energy. She had just fainted, after all. Amelia felt her whole body tremble in her arms.  
 _“The first time I passed out, I was at school. I hadn’t eaten since the previous day’s breakfast, my stomach was growling, but I didn’t feel hungry at all. My head felt dizzy, my eyes were clouding up. I excused myself to the bathroom, but I barely got there. My limbs weren’t responding, my legs felt heavy, I couldn’t see 3 feet ahead of me. When they found me, my head bled all the way through the corridor. My mother got me a therapist”._  
 _“I’m so sorry, Soph”_ , Amelia had finally said, her eyes welling up, the first tears dropping and falling to Sophia’s head on her chest. _“Don’t say that, Amelia. I don’t want you to pity me”_ , the blonde said in a serious tone.   
_“That’s not what I’m doing!”_ , Amelia protested. _“I just want you to feel okay, sweetie. I wish you hadn’t gone through all that”_. Sophia just laid there, appreciating her presence. It felt good to finally vent to someone other than her mother. She was the only one who knew about it, and although she had done everything for her daughter to get better, Sophia felt grateful to have someone who actually understood her. _“Don’t worry, Amy. I’m all better now”_ , she said instinctively.  
Amelia kissed her head. _“You don’t have to be strong all the time, you know”_. Sophia always kept her pose straight, pretending like she was okay even when she was not, so her mom, Santiago and Amelia wouldn’t worry. Her girlfriend was too good at realizing something was off, though. She blamed herself for not noticing it this time.   
The blonde caved in, allowing her tired eyelids to fall down. Amelia was glad she was finally letting her take care of her. When she was sure Sophia was officially asleep, she stroked her face softly, and whispered to her ear:  
 _“I just want you to know, as long as I am alive, you never have to feel alone”_ , she closed her eyes, the adrenaline still pushing through her veins. _“I love you just the way you are, and you’ll never have to change”._  
Her heart, which was almost slowing down to a normal pace, shot up fast again when she heard Sophia reply:  
 _“I love you so much”_.


	11. Chapter 11

Sophia stayed in the hospital for two days. Amelia went visiting her every morning and only left when the nurses pushed her out. Sophia was ever so grateful for her presence, since she never pushed her to talk about what happened, and entertained her in that boring hospital room. She bought her a new book, gave her suggestions about what she could draw on her sketchbook, and laughed quietly whenever Sophia complained about the insipid hospital food.  
She thought she’d be able to eat something other than chicken noodle after she left the ICU, but once she got home, her mother brought her a very tasteless chicken sandwich, making Sophia snort for the billionth time. She couldn’t even stand the sight of chicken anymore. Amelia giggled and kissed her pout off her face, rubbing her arm soothingly:  
\- No red meat for you, babygirl. At least not for a while. Doctor’s orders.  
They laid silently on her bed upstairs, Amelia’s head on Sophia’s shoulder, playing contentedly with her fingers. She was so relieved she was home now, knowing how annoyed her girlfriend was at the hospital. She was not as happy as Sophia’s pets, though: the dogs went crazy when she stepped in the house for he first time in two days, running in circles and jumping so they could lick her face. Even Ginger, her very fat and apathetic cat, seemed to be glad about his owner coming home, purring in satisfaction when she petted his head.  
Now the cat observed the life outside the bedroom, vigilant, staring at the starry night through the window. Max, the golden retriever, stretched himself lazily, occupying half the room on Sophia’s bed, while Ruby, the small chihuahua, complained every now and then about the lack of space for her to jump into, settling over the fluffy purple rug on the floor.  
\- Soph? - Amelia finally decided to break the silence, asking carefully, her eyes staring at their intertwined hands - Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer it if it makes you uncomfortable.  
\- Yeah, of course, babe - the blonde answered, sitting up and leaning her back against the bed frame, pulling Amelia up to lay against her shoulder again - What is it?  
The short brunette carefully chose her words, adjusting her body to settle in the new position:  
\- What… what triggered you this time? You know, what made you stop eating again?  
\- It’s an old habit, Amy - she sighed, looking at her and playing with a single strand of hair that fell down on Amelia’s face - It’s like smoking. Sometimes I catch myself falling into it again, and without even thinking, I’m skipping the third meal of the day, just like that. It doesn’t always have a reason.   
She paused, then dropped her gaze, not looking at Amelia.  
\- I guess I just… I don’t know, it’s silly. We started dating and I guess I didn’t wanna make you feel… embarrassed of me or something. I wanted to be perfect, _look_ perfect.  
\- Hey - Amelia stopped her - You know that’s bullshit, Sophi bear. You don’t have to be perfect, not for me, not for anyone - she put her hand on her chin and lifted it, so she’d look at her eyes - I could never be embarrassed of you! You’re like, my dream girl. And I’m so proud of being with you, okay? - she smiled, and Sophia’s lips curved into a shy grin too - I love you just like that. My pretty, loving, caring princess. And you don’t have to try and be someone else for anyone, understand?  
Her speech elicited one warm tear from Sophia’s right eye. Amelia rubbed it with her thumb, her hand lingering there. The blonde pulled her in for a kiss, closing the gap between them.  
\- I love you, Amy.  
Just then, the door slammed open in a quick move. Sophia opened her eyes, backing away from Amelia and jumping from the bed, startling both Max and her girlfriend.  
\- Dad, you’re home!  
She threw her body into the arms of a medium height man, in black hair and an army uniform, who hugged her tightly. The dogs instantly got up and sniffled his legs, jumping over and over, asking the man for attention.  
\- Hey, kiddo. You seem taller, won’t you ever stop growing up?  
She released him from her grasp, turning away to Amelia, who had gotten up from the bed, praying Sophia’s dad hadn’t noticed the compromising position they were in just a moment before.  
\- Dad, this is Amelia, my girlfriend - she introduced her proudly - Ames, this is my dad, Michael.   
She was met with a familiar pair of big, brown eyes, which offered a joyful look, full of energy. Just like Sophia’s, she thought. Amelia timidly extended her hand for him to shake.   
\- I’m honored to meet you, Sergeant Evans.  
Michael pulled her by the hand into a very warm hug, just like her mother had done before. He smelled like burnt fabric and pine.  
\- It’s Mike for you, kid. “Sergeant” makes me feel like I’m working, and “Mr. Evans” makes me feel old. And as everyone knows, I’m still at the peak of my youth, huh? - he winked at his daughter.   
He had big hands, Amelia noticed as he gave each the dogs the proper attention. As soon as Michael sat on the floor, Max settled himself at his lap, drooling over his camouflage uniform. _“He thinks he’s still a puppy”_ , Sophia told her once. Ruby was busy licking Michael’s fingers, once again laying down on the purple rug.   
\- Well, I suppose I should go now, Soph, I don’t want to disturb the family reunion - Amelia picked up her backpack - It was nice finally meeting you, uh, Mike. Welcome home.   
\- Bullshit - he blurted - It’s always nice to have visitors, darling. Especially when my daughter treasures them so much. Besides - he stood up, picking up his phone - Your mother told me you guys were supposed to have dinner this week. How do you feel about pizza?  
…   
Amelia was back on Sophia’s bed in no time after her father convinced her to stay for dinner. Sophia had pulled her back by her waist, and they ended up talking in her bedroom for hours, Mike telling them all sorts of stories from his trips around the world, both from his army days, or back to the times he and Claire traveled around the world before Sophia was born.   
\- I brought Sophia this when I went to India - he took a porcelain green elephant statuette that stood on one of her book shelves - My buddy and I, we went seeing the elephants at this place on our last day, and he was like “hey, the animal keeper is asking if you wanna ride it”. That son of a bitch. I didn’t speak hindi, so of course I believed him. So I tried to climb one of the elephants, and a very pissed off man came out of nowhere yelling at me furiously. Turns out the guys there spoke English, and you’re not supposed to ride an elephant.   
\- Dad, _of course_ you’re not supposed to ride an elephant - Sophia rolled her eyes - Their spines can’t handle the weight. India is planning to banish elephant riding cause it stresses the poor animals - she turned to Amelia - I’ve told him that a gazillion times since he got back from that trip.  
\- She did - Mike agreed - But how was I supposed to know? I trusted my pal, for crying out loud. That bastard. He just _stood there_ , laughing his lungs out.   
Amelia was amused by all his stories. She could lay there all day, next to Sophia, listening to all her dad’s tales. For every item he ever brought Sophia from his adventures, he had a narrative to tell. She wished she could travel that much, meet all kinds of places and bring back a million stories to tell. It was, for certain, one of the most pleasant evenings she’d had so far, ever since she was back to Santa Monica.  
\- I can’t believe mom called you, dad - Sophia told him, still fiddling with Amelia’s hair - You didn’t have to come back all the way from work because of me.  
\- Come on, kiddo, of course I had. It’s my little girl here, how was I supposed to stay there knowing you were sick?  
A knock came from the outside, and Sophia’s mom popped her head into the room.  
\- Mike, hun, have you ordered pizza? The delivery boy is outside.  
Michael placed the statuette back on the shelf.  
\- Yeah, we have to celebrate my homecoming, don’t you think? And our poor daughter must be dying to get some decent food on her stomach. Come on, women of my life, shall we devour some carbs?  
…  
Sophia didn’t know chicken pizza even existed.  
She reluctantly took another bite, unamused, considering feeding it to Max, who begged with his doe eyes for some human snacks under the table. Amelia felt sorry for her. She wanted to give her all her cheese slices to make her feel better, but she knew greasy cheese would screw the walls in her stomach again.   
Amelia helped the family with the dishes, despite Claire’s protests: “it’s Michael’s turn to do them, sweetie, you don’t have to spare him”. Sophia told her she would hold her captive in her house if that meant she would always help them with chores, to which Claire responded Amelia already spoiled her enough.  
As she prepared herself to go home, Mike stopped her again, inviting her to sleep over, since it was already so late.  
\- That’s really kind of you, Michael, but it’s really late, I don’t want to disturb you anymore than I already did. It’s not polite of me.  
\- You didn’t disturb anyone, dear - he replied - And in case you haven’t noticed, you’re the most polite around here - he turned the TV on casually - Come on, I think Sophia would really enjoy having some company on her first night back from the hospital.  
Before Amelia could formulate a reply, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She panicked when she saw her mother’s name on the screen, shining next to a “13 missed calls” notification.  
\- Uh, excuse me - she picked up the call, turning away from Michael, who turned down the volume on the screen - Hi, mom.  
\- _Amelia, where are you? Why haven’t you picked up your phone?_ \- the familiar outraged tone of her mother’s voice blasted through the speaker - _I’ve called you over thirty times!_  
\- That would be fourteen, mom, and I’m okay - she paced around the living room - I’m at Sophia’s.  
\- _Who’s that?_  
\- She’s… a friend - she saw Mike’s eyebrows frowning - From uni. Come on, mom, I’ve told you about her before.  
\- _Well, what the hell are you doing there? It’s almost midnight, Amelia, you should go home. You don’t wanna disturb the poor family._  
\- It’s nine thirty, mom - she sighed - And they invited me over for dinner. I’m sleeping over.  
\- _No, you’re not. They just invited you for dinner to be polite, Amelia, I’m pretty sure they were too embarrassed to send you home._  
\- Mom, come on. I’m 18 and I don’t live with you anymore, okay? - Amelia rolled her eyes. It was incredible the way her mother always felt like no human being could actually like have someone around - I know what I’m doing, it’s fine.  
Her mother let out an annoyed sigh.  
\- _Do whatever you want, Amelia_ \- her voice went off, the phone beeped indicating the call had ended. She rubbed her forehead tiredly. This kind of argument always made her feel insecure and exhausted.  
\- Tough parents, huh? - Michael said from the sofa, his eyes focused on the basketball game playing on TV.  
Amelia put down her phone back into her pocket, sighing one more time and sitting down on the brown couch.  
\- You have no idea.  
\- I suppose she doesn’t know about you and my daughter either - he pointed out - I’m not judging, it’s not easy for all children to have that talk with their folks.  
She propped up her elbow, resting her cheek over her fist.  
\- Yeah - she replied, acidly - Got any advice for that?  
\- Well, let me tell you, I’m pretty sure she must already know about you.  
Amelia lifted her head in a quick motion.  
\- What?   
He smirked, sipping into his fancy glass of whiskey that rested on the coffee table.  
\- Almost every parent knows, Amelia. They may not want to believe it, but they know when their children aren’t... like everyone else’s.   
\- So, you knew Sophia liked girls before she told you? - she questioned curiously.   
\- Of course I did - Mike replied in a serene voice - I don’t know how, but I knew from her early teenage years she was not like all the other kids. Obviously, I didn’t make any assumptions before she actually spilled the beans, but I knew she kept something like that from me.  
\- And you were always okay with that?  
\- Well, yes - he emptied his glass - I mean, I was never in a position to allow anything, you know? It’s her life. It’s none of my business if she felt like bringing a girlfriend home instead of a boyfriend. She’s still my daughter, and that’s not gonna change just because she likes girls.   
Amelia felt her heart warming up at his words. God, she wished her mother would see it like that.  
\- She’s really lucky to have a father who thinks that way, Michael.   
\- It’s just the way it is, dear - Michael got up from the couch - When you’re ready, just remind her you’re still you. Being with a girl doesn’t change the fact you’re Amelia, her daughter. And you must believe that too, if you want anyone else to believe your words - he squeezed her shoulder - It’s just another attribute, Amelia. It’s like telling her you’ve got brown hair. It’s a small detail, it doesn’t change your essence.   
She offered him a grateful smile.  
\- Thank you, Michael. For everything.  
\- It’s my pleasure, kiddo - Michael turned off the TV, picking up his glass to take it to the kitchen - And, Amelia? No matter what happens, you’re always welcome in this house.  
…


	12. Chapter 12

The sun hit Amelia’s face as she drove around Santa Monica with the radio on. She could see the palm trees through the lens of her sunglasses, standing tall moving rhythmically with the smooth breeze. It was warm for an autumn day. Her heart felt warm, too, as she mesmerized the last few days. Of course, she knew her peace could as well blow up any second, considering her current destination, but she let her mind wander to the heavenly moments she had been living.  
Sophia’s father would be in town for at least two months, so she was comfortable with going out a few nights to have some fun instead of staying home with him. He’d say _“go have a date with your girlfriend, darling, I’m not going anywhere”_. She obliged, determined to make up to Amelia for all the days she spent on the hospital taking care of her. Amelia told her she didn’t have to make up for anything, but she insisted on spoiling her in all sorts of ways.  
One night, they had gone to Pacific Park. She knew how much Amelia loved amusement parks, so Sophia drove them on a starry night and blindfolded her using her own scarf. She was stoked when they arrived. They stuffed their mouths with hot dogs, cotton candy and diet soda. Well, at least Amelia did, because Sophia wasn’t allowed to drink soda yet.   
The two girls had run around like children, getting tickets for all the rides. Sophia was dead scared they’d get stuck on top of the Pacific Wheel, so they skipped that on, Amelia never missing the chance to call her a big baby. Her scarf swirled around with the wind, her ugg shoes warming her feet like Sophia’s arm around her waist. She nuzzled her face as she giggled, as if they were newly weds.   
Amelia’s hazel eyes widened when they spotted a giant stuffed koala bear at a Goblet Toss booth. She squealed like a child and untangled herself from Sophia’s arms, running to the booth with her small feet in a quick motion. Sophia chased her with a smirk on her face. She had already paid for the game when the blonde reached her, but she wanted to win for her girlfriend.   
_“No, Soph!”_ , Amelia had pleaded, laughing out loud when Sophia fastened her wrists with one hand, and threw the softball-sized goblets with the other, aiming for the colored holes inside the booth.   
She hugged the massive stuffed animal Sophia won her, feeling a hardened surface on the palm of her hand. _“Wait, does it talk? I feel a battery or something in the back”._  
 _“Unzip it_ ”, Sophia had instructed, _“See if you can find anything in there”_.  
 _“Oh, Soph...”_ , she let out breathlessly as she did as she was told, pushing down the cold zipper on the back of the puppet. Sophia took the small velveted box from her shaky fingertips, opening it to reveal two thin silver bands that glistened at the moonlight.  
 _“I don’t understand”_ , Amelia gasped in pure amusement, her hazel orbs welling up, her hands clutching the koala bear, still shaking, but not from the cold night. _“I thought you said promise rings were cheesy and no one actually wore them in the twenty first century”._  
 _“I know it’s such a cliché”_ , she had answered, sliding one of the bands through Amelia’s trembling finger, “ _but I was hoping it would remind you I’m yours. Always and forever”._  
The brunette kissed her lovingly, tasting like salt from her teardrops. Sophia’s hand fell to her waist, Amelia’s silver ring cold against her cheek. _“You’re not mine, neither am I yours. We don’t belong to each other. But my heart beats faster for you, for you are part of me. That you shall always be. Always and forever”._  
The silver band sparkled on her finger against the steering wheel. She hummed softly to “La vie en rose”, deciding she actually seemed to see life through rose colored glasses. Everything felt like a fairytale lately, but she knew it was about to change.   
_“Sure you don’t want me to come with you?_ ”, Sophia had asked her last night, as Amelia gathered her things to leave the Evans’ house. It was late, and she had to leave early in the morning to hit the road.  
_“It’s fine, Soph”_ , she had replied, grabbing the band of her purse, _“It’ll only make her ask more questions I’m not ready to answer”_. Sure, she thought having Sophia with her could make things more bearable, but she didn’t feel like dealing with angry yelling and door slamming right now. Life had been so good to her on the last few weeks, she didn’t wanna spoil it. She truly felt like she was living inside Édith Piaf’s lyrics, her days tinted rosy with joy and happiness.  
She could picture Sophia in the passenger seat by her side, frantically skipping through the radio stations and singing loudly to some The Vamps song. She’d put her feet up, lean her back into the seat, and just stare at the road ahead as they crossed the city limits.   
Amelia’s bubble of joy bursted the minute she parked in front of her mother’s house.  
Her brother welcomed her gladly on the front door. She stood on her tiptoes to ruffle his caramel hair, entering the house and displaying her usual cream colored scarf by the door. Despite being two years younger, Oliver was still taller than his sister, as he had been since his fourteens. Being the gentleman he was, he helped her take off her big militar green coat, placing it with the scarf on the hook.  
\- Ollie? - she heard her mother’s voice upstairs - Close the door, dear, the house will be all dusty in no time.  
Christine Andrews stepped down the wooden stairs in a weird combination of a purple sweatshirt, grey leggings and green socks. She never got rid of her ex husband’s last name, claiming he was not worth all that paperwork. Her mother was a peculiar woman, in her style and her way of living. At home, she’d wear the first pair of clothing she could find in the mess she called her bedroom, but she very much enjoyed dressing up like a rich lady going for an Award Night in special occasions. Most people would change into day clothes as soon as they got up, whether they’d go out or not, but Amelia and her mother had the habit of wearing pajamas inside the house until they actually had to leave. “No one’s gonna see me, anyway”, she’d say, “There’s no reason for me to get all glamorous if it’s no extraordinary guest or event”.  
That could explain why Christine gasped in horror when she realized her daughter had arrived and both her and her son were in their “home clothes”.   
\- Amelia, my love! Why didn’t you text me when you left your house? You’re all fancy and dressed up while me and your brother look all sloppy like we just got robbed.  
Oliver looked down at his outfit. He wore a simple white tank top and plaid blue pants. It was not fancy or anything, but he thought it was perfectly acceptable for having his sister at home. She had seen him in a reindeer costume before, it was not like it was embarrassing for him to be seen in his pajamas.  
\- Mom, there’s no need to put on a gala look - Amelia said - We’re not meeting Queen Elizabeth, we’re just having dinner at home.  
\- Thanksgiving dinner - her mother corrected, fussing around and discarding the purple sweats hanging on the handrail - Ollie, go put on some decent clothes, maybe that pullover grandma gave you? Just a minute, Amelia, I’ll be back in a moment.  
\- Thanksgiving is a week away! - she exhaled helplessly, sitting down on the flowery armchair in the living room - It’s just the three of us having regular food, I don’t know what the fuss is about.  
\- Well, you’re not _gonna be_ here for Thanksgiving, are you? - Christine yelled acidly from her bedroom upstairs - So we have to celebrate it while we can. I even made turkey!  
\- Yeah, we must enjoy having turkey with mom, cause in week we’ll be eating roast cabbage with dad and that vegan witch he calls a wife - Oliver commented, getting a bottle of wine and glasses from the mini bar and sitting next to his sister.  
\- Damn, bro, you sound bitter like a seventy year old widow - she mocked, accepting the red liquid he poured for her - Besides, we haven’t seen Emma since summer. You miss her, don’t you?  
\- I do miss Em, but not enough to make me crave her mother’s company.   
Amelia sighed. Oliver never got along with their father’s new wife. Regina was not a bad person at all. She was quite pleasant, in fact, but Oliver always blamed her for destroying their parents’ marriage. He saw her as an enemy, some homewrecker machiavellian Disney villain, and the fact she had the same name as Once Upon a Time’s Evil Queen didn’t help ( _maybe I shouldn’t have made him watch Cinderella so many times as a kid_ , she thought). He never let Regina prove him she could be a nice stepmother, despite all the times her father had scolded him for not treating her right. Regina desperately wanted to earn his affection, but she didn’t really understand that letting him stay in his room all day and cooking the vegan version of his favorite dishes wouldn’t buy his trust.  
Emma was a whole other situation. In front of their parents, Regina’s daughter was the perfect stereotype of an America’s sweetheart: gymnast as a kid, second year in Law school, model behaviour and a face you’d definitely want to see in your family’s Christmas card. She seemed all too perfect. Amelia and Oliver did their best to hate her, but once they met the true Emma behind the daddy’s little girl mask, it became impossible.  
She was damn good at keeping her pose. The siblings realized Emma was nothing like the model citizen their father introduced them the first time she took Amelia to a night out. When they arrived at the house party, she removed the big overcoat to reveal a sparkly skirt and a white lacy top. Oliver was astonished when they got back from the party and he saw her smudged make up and shiny clothes, like their big stepsister was a superhero taking off her disguise. Amelia stared at her suspiciously as she poked the inside of her nostril to reveal a small piercing.  
 _“What, did you guys really think I was a little Barbie princess?”_ , she had said, untucking her red wavy hair from the hair tie and searching for some mascara in her purse, _“You gotta do what you gotta do to survive in that house, hun”._  
Indeed, Amelia didn’t know how a teenager could live in Emma’s skin. Her mother was a prude, and their father, Robert, just expected too much from their children. He’d have a heart attack if he knew his perfect little daughter was partying in a short skirt at a house that smelled like booze. That was exactly the reason Amelia thought her big sister was so cool. She was no punk, but she was also not the puritan nerdy kid their parents thought she was. She was a normal 16-year-old, going out on Friday nights, drinking from red paper cups and making out with the hottest guy at the party. And she wanted her sister to have the opportunity to be more than what their father wanted her to be.   
_“Dad’s gonna kill us”_ , 14-year-old Amelia had commented with a sideway grin as she took the red cup from Emma.  
 _“I suppose he will have to find out first”_ , Emma had winked.  
Emma was the person Oliver asked for girl advice when he grew up. She was also the one who introduced them to life in Santa Monica as they grew up: she’d take them to parties, sooth them when their dad and Amelia’s mom had an argument over the phone, and make their lives a blast whenever they spent some time with at their father’s. They learned to trust her to a point where they were almost grateful Robert had married Regina. When they were with her, they could almost forget about all the cheating and crying part.   
\- Oh, good, you found the wine - Christine snapped her out of her thoughts. She wore a beautiful black jumpsuit and heels, swapping into her socialite look for the evening, as elegant as she could get - Oliver, I thought I told you to change those clothes, darling.   
Oliver groaned and dramatically walked up to his room to get changed. Amelia followed her mother into the kitchen, helping her set the table. The scent of the seasoned turkey filled the room and invaded Amelia’s nostrils deliciously as Christine turned off the oven. She smiled when her phone lit up to show a new message.  
_“Just remembered you have turkey and now I’m jealous - and hungry. :) everything alright, cutie?”_  
_“Everything’s fine babe. We got wine too”_ , she typed, texting Sophia back.  
_“Ooh, your father better not hear about that”._  
She was right. Robert went mad when he found out his children had been drinking. Oliver had just turned 15 and they were back from a party at one of Emma’s friends. The three of them had been grounded for weeks. Amelia had never been grounded until then, but her father was furious, yelling about how drinking would lead them to drugs and destroy their lives. She shivered at the memory as Oliver came into the kitchen in a plaid pullover, his hair still messy, glancing curiously at her phone:  
\- Oh, is that that hot blonde from your Instagram pictures? Ames, you gotta introduce us sometime, damn. Tell her your bro said he’s interested.  
\- Who is that now? - their mother asked inquisitively while mixing some sauce in a bowl. Amelia laughed.  
\- It’s just Sophia, mom. That friend I met on uni, remember?  
_“Oliver says hi. He still thinks he’s got a chance with you”_  
The screen lit up again when she replied:  
_“What a cutie. Tell him he’d still be too young even if I wasn’t dating his hot af sister._  
\- How could I forget? - Christine rolled her eyes, placing the bowl of sauce on the table - She’s all you ever talk about. Now put that phone down and come sit. Dinner’s ready.  
_“You’re such a flirt Soph. I’m not telling him that”_  
\- So, how’s med school going, Amelia? - her mother poured herself some wine, swaying the liquid in the goblet like a sommelier would.  
\- Uh, great, mom, nothing special - Amelia’s eyes focused on the phone in her lap as she read Sophia’s text.  
_“Can’t tell him I’m dating you? Or perhaps you don’t want him knowing his sister is a small pack of hotness? ;)”_  
She blushed, eyes still glued to her phone.  
 _“Ooh, fancy word alert. Seriously Soph who uses emojis these days? You’re totally a grandma with a phone”_  
\- Ames, pass me the corn, please? - Oliver’s voice sounded distant in her mind.  
\- Yeah, sure, in a minute…  
 _“Says the girl who told me my laugh is a ‘mellifluous’ sound” _  
 _“It really is, sweetie, can you blame me? Makes me want to squish your adorable cheeks and pepper them with kisses”_  
 _“Well I know what I want to do with you when you come back, and it does involve kissing that adorable face of yours”_  
\- For God’s sake, Amelia, put down that damn phone! - Christine’s voice was like a slap, and before she realized, her phone was snattched from her hands - You know I hate it when you kids use this damned thing over dinner.  
\- Sorry, mom, I was just saying goodbye to Sophia when-  
\- Yeah, I doubt it - her mother looked at the screen, probably intending to turn it off - What is it with you two? You’re with her twenty four seven, it’s almost like this girl is your girlfriend…  
Her eyes widened when they accidentally focused on a particular over sugared text. Her hands shakily dropped the phone, her eyebrows frowning in confusion. She looked up at Amelia, who observed her cautiously, both static.  
\- Amelia…  
\- She is, mom - she blurted, in a sudden spark of courage. That was it. No going back now.  
Christine stared at her daughter like she was a bomb about to explode.  
\- What did you say?  
\- She is my girlfriend, mother - Amelia got up and slowly approached her, swallowing hard. She was hella scared of what her reaction would be, but she didn’t dare taking her eyes off her mother’s - Sophia and I, we’re dating.  
\- Woah - Oliver exclaimed with his mouth full of turkey, then swallowed and wiped his mouth with a napkin - Wait, you’re screwing the blondie? Sweet.  
\- Shut up, Oliver - she scowled, reaching for Christine’s hand over the table - Mom, please, say something.  
Her mother’s mouth fell open, but no words came out. She shook her head in denial, moving her hand from under Amelia’s and placed it over her forehead.  
\- Are you mad? - the brunette asked tentatively.  
\- I’m not mad, Amelia - Christine closed her eyes, sighing loudly - I’m disappointed.   
\- Mom…  
\- It’s just, that’s not what I raised you for! - she let out, exasperated - Of course not, I mean, every mother expects the child in her womb to be normal. I never expected my children to follow some crazy ideology from this… this twisted youth…  
\- Ideology? - Amelia struggled to find the right words, her face contorting into an outraged look - Mom, nobody told me to be like this! I didn’t choose to like girls, I just…  
\- Don’t interrupt me - her mother’s lips squirmed into that familiar unsatisfied expression, a look in her face Amelia knew all to well. It met her eyes everytime she had screwed badly, ever since she was a kid. She had seen it many times before: that one time her mom was called in when Amelia got into a fight at school, when she’d drop cinnamon powder all over the table, everytime she came home from a party and she hadn’t picked up her mother’s calls.   
\- I just expected so much more from you, Amelia. I didn’t think you would fall for this…this sick invention of these lavish kids nowadays. God, this generation is so fucked up.  
\- Mom, come on, stop that - Oliver tried to intervene.  
\- It’s not about your expectations, mom! - the first tears prickled in Amelia’s eyelids, her voice trembled in anger - It’s not an ideology either, this is who I am! - she tried to hold her mother’s hands, but she backed away - But I’m still your daughter, mom, please…  
She tried to approach her again, but this time, Christine was motionless. She wouldn’t look at her daughter, though.  
\- Nothing has changed… - Amelia said - I’m still me, it’s just another trait…  
\- Oh, my god, you really believe it, don’t you? - Christine throbbed, incredulous - You actually think that’s who you are… my daughter, a freak. A dyke.   
\- Ok, mom, now that’s enough! - Oliver pulled her shoulder, stepping between Amelia and their mother. Amelia just stood there, trembling, not believing that it was actually happening. She could hear her heart cracking like fallen glass, hot, heavy tears running freely down her swollen face.   
\- Don’t you dare kissing some girl in front of our family, Amelia! - her mother rose her voice, Oliver trying to hold her back - I’ve already had enough embarrassment! No one. Can know.  
\- Mother, stop! - her brother pleaded.  
\- You know what, mom? - Amelia stepped closer, her blood boiled inside her veins, her face was flustered red, but despite the anger, she already felt broken - I’m the one who gets to decide that. And it’s not “some girl”, she’s Sophia, the sweetest, most amazing person I’ve ever met. And _I’m proud_ of dating her. I’m proud of _who I am_. And you should be, too - her voice quivered, she struggled to stay strong - And if you can’t do that, if you can’t love me for who I am, then I’m done.  
She turned away, allowing herself to finally break down as she walked through the door. Oliver released his grip on his mother, chasing after her.  
\- Amelia. Amelia, wait!  
\- I’m not staying, Ollie! - she faced him when he grabbed her arm - I’m not gonna pretend I’m someone else just so she can be content, I can’t…  
\- I love you, Amelia - he stopped his sister - I do, ok? It doesn’t matter who you’re dating, I’m with you, alright? - he came closer and kissed her forehead - Introduce me to your girlfriend later, okay? I’m sure she’s awesome.  
She nodded, murmuring a low “thanks”, and walked to her car, climbing in and dialing on her phone. It rang a few times before she heard a sleepy voice on the other line:  
\- _Hello_?  
\- Sophi? - Amelia wiped her nose - C-can you come over? I need you.__

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thank you so much for reading. this is my first story and english is not my first language, so forgive me for any grammar mistakes. reviews are always appreciated! i'd love to talk to you and know if you have anything to say about the story. this is inspired by clairo's song "sofia", you should really check it out.


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